lift my head

buona mattina! that means good morning :) i hope you are all having a good morning today...i'm definitely trying. i will admit that i am extremely tired today. yesterday was a full day and when combined with my silly idea to work out extra hard, the end product was hair in a bun and involuntary closing of my eyes for the majority of the day. oye. that being said, i am a big believer in choices overcoming circumstances, so today, i am choosing not only to stay awake, but to be productive. however, first thing's first.

day 4

psalm 3
genesis 4
1 chronicles 4
luke 2:1-21

let me just start out by being very honest. 1 chronicles isn't doing much for my sleepiness this morning. i'm trying really hard to not just skim over all of the names in the genealogies because i know they are important, but the involuntary closing of my eyes is increasing by the minute.

i'm going to just share a bit about psalm 3. verses 3 and 4 strike a certain chord in my heart that feels reminiscent of my childhood. david is speaking of his many enemies and how the lord is his shield and his protecter. psalm 3:3-4 says, "But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head. I cried aloud to the Lord, and he answered me from his holy hill. Selah." what strikes me most in these verses is when david refers to the lord as the "lifter of my head". i know that this can probably be interpreted as a metaphor for the lord cheering david up when he is down, or restoring his confidence or position, or whatever, but i really like the picture it paints. i think about when i was little and how when i got in trouble or did something wrong, or was just sad, it was the hardest thing in the world to look my dad in the eye. there was something about the way he looked at me that would just completely melt my heart. i picture fathers all around the world trying to attain their child's gaze and the need to physically lift their heads. i picture them putting their finger underneath their child's chin and lifting their head so that they might see their face. there is something humbling about being on the other side of that, but there is also something restorative. i think david might have been referring to the lord as the lifter of his head in this sense too. in the midst of destruction and fearing for his life, god lifts his head so that their eyes might meet and assures him of his power and love. i pray that i wouldn't try to avoid the lord's gaze, but be lifted up to meet him. he does that so often. i would so like to admit that i am the first to run to him when i've failed or when i'm scared, but i tend to retreat. like any good 21st century woman, i have it under control. or so i say to fool myself and everyone else. the lord is forced to grab me by the chin and make me look at him, that with that one action, i might see the grace and sovereignty in his eyes. thank you lord.