Thursday, July 1, 2010

filling in the cracks

so here we are. it's been a while, i must say. i was reminded today, that i indeed have a blog. that's funny that one could forget something like that. when i was reminded, i decided to read a few of my previous posts. wow. i am constantly amazed at how far you can come in mere months of growth. speaking of growth. i think i'd like to discuss something directly related to the subject...for those that follow Jesus at least. the topic of choice for tonight is accountability.

accountability. what is accountability, you ask? well lucky for you, i just so happen to be equipped with this amazing technology called the internet. the internet says that accountability is the state of being accountable, liable, or answerable. i like this. or at least i think i like this. what does it really mean to be answerable. this must be connected in the most basic way to an action...what can you be answerable for, if not something that you've done? and if you are to be answerable for something you've done, must you not be answerable to someone else? this seems to me to be the very heart of accountability: that you must tell someone what you've done. simple enough, yet so very difficult to implement.

as a follower of Jesus Christ, we are called to live a life in which the deepest parts of ourselves are exposed to the light. terrifying as it seems, it is in this vulnerable state that we allow Jesus to show us his redemption and his desire to fill in all of our cracks...even those we refuse to admit exist. we've been talking a lot recently about what accountability really looks like in the context of our lives. it can't just be a theory, or something that we consistently talk about and hash out in every way imaginable, but never actually do! so needless to say, i've experienced some "doing" lately, and let me just say, wow. how sweet it is. to be able to share all of the (for lack of a better word) crap in my life with such a good friend and have her encourage me and pray for me...it's just amazing. i feel so blessed to have a relationship in which i feel so safe. who would have thought that after experiencing some intense shame after a period of sin, i would want to tell someone. there are so many times when i want to run as fast as my awkwardly long legs will carry me away from anything that might expose my less-than-perfect parts. i guess that just speaks to how, in his amazing grace, Jesus can change my heart. he comes in when i least expect it, and overhauls my tiny mind's ability to comprehend that maybe, just maybe, what he has for me is best. i heard someone say once, that it is a cosmic impossibility for God to be any less good to me than he is right now. why is it so hard to cling to this? to really believe? Lord, help my unbelief! i'm so amazed that he continues to work in me even when i don't believe. that's a good thing too, because if it weren't true, i'm not sure he'd ever work in me!

so i guess that's it. accountability is a sweet thing. sin confession sucks, but it's so vital. it's exposing and vulnerable. it's icky. but redemption is good. i pray that you try it. i pray that you can find someone that will reciprocate. Lord, haste the day when this isn't necessary...but help us seek your way to live while it is.

buono notte i miei amici. baci!

Friday, March 12, 2010

grace

i am amazed tonight, by the perfection in the timing of my God. i have had a rather unfortunate experience recently that i will not divulge, but the grace and peace i have experienced throughout are more than worthy of being shared. it is hard to even explain, but i have been so blessed to have recently experienced such direct answers to my prayers and the prayers of those that love me. i feel so showered by my Savior's love for me and i pray that you would get to experience this...it is incomparable. the combination of teaching, growth, grace, peace, and joy is just ridiculous. i just wanted to share that Jesus is Lord and He is GOOD! i pray that you would know Him. i pray that you would love Him. i pray that you would let Him.

il suo amore resiste a per sempre.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

a homecoming of sorts

it seems no matter how often i update this blog, i never seem to know quite how to begin my posts. i feel the need to be witty and clever, but when it comes down to it, i can't seem to muster up anything that feels just right. so i settle for qualifications. apparently i have to explain away my lack of wit in hopes that my futile explanation might serve my original intention. it's quite the cycle. that introduction was a bit ridiculous...i do apologize. i wanted to begin this sentence with the word "anyway". that is simply not allowed. beginning a sentence with "anyway" makes me not only feel unoriginal, but also uneducated. it's almost as bad as beginning a sentence with "and"...perhaps not so grammatically incorrect, but just as immature (right mom?). it's funny how long i can rant about silly things like grammar. all of that hoopla...and for what? to begin writing to my nonexistent readers? having a blog provides a much needed dose of humility when you really think about it. i start to feel prideful at times, thinking that my thoughts are really worthy to be read (metacognition anyone?)...and then i realize that my mom is the only one that reads my blog and i'm brought right back to where i need to be. oh how i love being forced into self-awareness. i guess this one's for you mom!

a blog post can really be about anything...random thoughts, life narration, or whatever you like. this one, i suppose, needs to be about what i've recently discovered. i came home today from a week long trip to chicago. i had never been before this trip, and was very excited to see the city. i went for a conference, but did almost every touristy thing there is to do. as is customary for any vacation, i ate and drank basically the entire time. at this point, i can't fathom ever having another ounce of alcohol. what's funny, is that there was never a point of sheer drunkenness...we just seemed to always be drinking. it's like the city ran out of water or something, so anytime we needed something to drink, it had vodka in it. that makes me sound awful...if only my prude 18 year old self could see me now...how ashamed and judgmental she'd be!

we definitely lived it up in chi-town. it was a grand time and i could not imagine a more fun week. i realized something while i was there though, that i feel is worth sharing. it's quite monumental. it was friday night and i was sitting in a local movie theatre, wearing my 3D glasses, and watching alice in wonderland, that i realized i was ready to come home. to be perfectly honest, i have never wanted to come home from a vacation. i've always been the girl with a love for traveling (still am), and a need to be on the go. i have never really been able to sit still for too long. i feel alive when i get to experience new things, new people, and new places. that all sounds relatively wonderful, but it came with a downside to be sure. that is, i've never felt content to just be at home. i guess i've always lived my life waiting for the next best thing...always looking forward to experiencing something else, something new. i would get super anxious if i was ever in the same place for too long. i guess i'm still quite like that, but i've realized that i truly enjoy where i am now. i absolutely love my life. i'm so thankful for the people in it and the season i am in. once i thought about home on friday, i really couldn't get here fast enough. i love my city and believe so strongly that my God is doing a great work here in austin. i'm so thankful that despite my unwillingness and rebellion, that my Lord chooses to continually pursue me and beckon my heart back to His. He has shown His love for me in his constant pursuit and unconditional forgiveness and redemption. i seem to be so good and failing to live my life in a way that pleases Him, yet He loves me just the same and rejoices when i return to Him. as undeserving as my flesh is, my heart and soul have been redeemed by the only One worthy to redeem...and how eternally blessed i am. i guess that's a pretty great realization to have. it's weird though...as much as i have felt like i've known those truths forever, i'm reminded with such a newness that i can't help but share. i pray that you would all experience this newness of life that is so freely offered by Christ. it's unexplainable.

sono contenta.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

blog adultery

so it has come to my attention that people do actually read this. wow. i stopped blogging for a bit because some friends of mine decided to start a little community blog together. so i've been posting on that. after checking on it everyday for the last few weeks though, i've realized that kate and i are the only ones writing anything, and also, it's apparently supposed to be private. so here i am again. i want to post something i put on there because it's pretty funny and provides some lovely insight into the inner workings of the savens family.

i call this one thanksgiving savens style.

thanksgiving with the savens this year was tradition at its finest. our thanksgiving routine has changed a bit in the last few years due to house sizes and sibling arguments, but this year was great. the final count this year was 30…we must be crazy i guess. all 30 of us were packed in my grandparents’ house…and when i say packed, i really mean it. some of you have been to my grandparents house, and it is not that big…and definitely not 30 people big. but like i said, it was great. we had a few family members drive in from st. louis, which was great because it had been about eight years since we had seen them. everyone arrived around 4 or so, at which time the champagne was popped and the appetizers were rolled out. this year we had chips and salsa (it is texas after all), a ginormous cheese ball with an assortment of crackers, and deviled eggs (a traditional dish for us that i have yet to partake from . everyone hangs out for a few hours, chatting and watching football, eating appetizers, and drinking…a lot. that’s one thing that the savens do quite well. as everyone is catching up, making jokes, teasing everyone (especially leah and i…the only aggies of the family), and having a good time, my grandma and my aunt are in the kitchen putting the last minute finishing touches on all the food. we have a lot of food. i mean, it’s a bit ridiculous. this year we had 2 fifteen pound turkeys and a turduckin (this was a first for us). we had a honey ham, 3 crockpots full of mashed potatoes, mashed sweet potatoes covered in pecans, broccoli and cauliflower casserole, homemade gravy (my personal favorite), collared greens, broccoli and cauliflower “sunny” salad (bryan’s favorite), and a couple more casseroles that i was too full to eat. and of course, the dessert, we had our famous pumpkin gooey butter cake, two pumpkin pies, and two cheese pies. needless to say, we had far too much food. before we all sat down to eat, all 30 of us gathered in the living room and stood in a circle holding hands. we do this circle prayer every time we get together, especially at thanksgiving. we go around the circle, starting with my grandma and say a prayer or what we are thankful for. this time is typically filled with jokes and tears, sincerity and silliness, and it’s wonderful. we end with my grandpa, who blesses the food…then it’s time to eat! we started eating around 7, which of course, was kickoff for the a&m-texas game, so some people sat at the tables we had set up, but we all migrated to the living room soon enough. the rest of the night consisted mostly of watching football and rubbing every a&m touchdown in everyone’s faces. we had a lovely time. thanksgiving with the savens is always an event. this year was one of the first times in about ten years that we had little ones running around again. bryan used to be the youngest, but we had new little ones this year, and i couldn’t have been happier. there is definitely something different about the atmosphere when babies are there i guess that is really it for the savens thanksgiving. it was a great time and now we just have to wait for christmas eve…believe it or not, we do it up bigger and better then! i hope everyone had a lovely time with family and i wish you all a happy thanksgiving!

so obviously that was a bit late, but i wanted to share it with you anyway. i hope you are all doing positively fabulous. and now i need to get back to the last bits of my school work for the semester. aww...procrastination.

buona notte...e ora, devo studiare!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

looking back a bit

since this is no longer primarily a blog about italy, i've decided to remove my support goals from the layout of this page. however, i think seeing the progression of how they were achieved is an amazing picture of the faithfulness and provision of our God...so i'll put them in this post!

Goal #1: $200 by February 19, 2008
Achieved February 7, 2008!

Goal #2: $1000 by March 23, 2008
(Total $1200)
Achieved March 22, 2008!

Goal #3: $1000 by April 11, 2008
(Total $2200)
Achieved March 31, 2008!

Goal #4: $1000 by May 1, 2008
(Total $3200)
Achieved April 11, 2008!

Goal #5: $2970 by May 18, 2008
(Total $617o)
Achieved May 17, 2008

isn't that amazing? it's just so great to see how perfectly God provided for me in a situation that required so much provision! sorry for a short post, but i'm sleepy! i have another big week ahead of me. prayer is much appreciated!

buona notte!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

a different place

today is november 14th. it has been almost a year and a half since i last posted anything on this blog. i thought when i came home from italy, i would continue my blog, but as it always does, life happened. i decided though, that i would like to start blogging again. i think it will be therapeutic for me to get my thoughts out there. i don't know if anyone will be reading anything that i write, but that's okay. this isn't for you anyway. :) just in case i do have some faithful followers, i guess i should bring everyone up to speed on where i am in life now. so many things have happened in the last year and a half that i don't really know where to begin or what is even important to share.

i guess the most overwhelming part of my life right now would have to be school. i am currently in my second year of graduate school, studying school psychology. right now i have three classes, i work at a middle school three days a week for practicum, and i work in the autism clinic that we have at school as part of my graduate assistant duties. and that's just the school part. it has definitely been challenging trying to juggle everything on my plate...especially when the plate is completely filled up by school...where does the rest of my life fit in? this has been something i have really struggled with in the last couple of months. don't get me wrong, i absolutely love my program and everything i get to do with it. i feel so honored that i get to make a real difference in the lives of children with disabilities. it makes me feel alive when i work with those kids. if i had my choice, i would probably be with kids in some capacity 24/7...who needs adult interaction anyway? well i guess that might be important.

as far as adult interaction goes, i'm happy to share that i have finally found a church home and an amazing community within it. i am a proud partner at the austin stone. i began attending this church in may of this year and joined as a partner at the end of the summer. i cannot tell you how blessed i feel to be a part of this body of believers. there are some really great things happening in the church right now and i'm so excited to be a part of it. i am blessed to get to hear the teachings of some wise and gifted men of God every week, and always feel so challenged and loved when i leave service. i've also been so blessed to be able to take a theology class through the stone. this semester we studied the truth of scripture, attributes of God, the trinity, the person of Jesus Christ and the work of Jesus Christ...we studied these in a way i never have before, and my eyes have been opened to just how much i don't know about my God. this is comforting in a way because i know he is so much bigger than i could ever imagine. i could (and will) search my entire life to know more about him...his love, his grace, his power, his wisdom, his perfection, his nature, his will, his provision...and i will never cease to learn something new about him. i'm so thankful that i serve the one true God...the God of creation, of the universe...the Savior of my heart and lover of my soul. how truly blessed i am! i've been able to see glimpses of the attributes that God has allowed his people to share with him through my new community group at the stone. i am involved in a group of about 15 or so single coeds that desire to live in community and on mission for God. i have just been amazed at how beautifully God orchestrated the group. i have been looking for this kind of genuine community for quite some time and think i have finally found it. praise God. i will keep you posted about our weekly gatherings, as i'm sure there will be much to share. i'll say this though, every week renews me. thank goodness.

i guess this post is long enough already, so i'll cut it off now. look for more posts, as i'm hoping to be pretty regular about this. now i'm off to clean my apartment and write some reports! a lovely saturday indeed. talk to you all soon.

ciao amici...yes, i will be continuing the use of my italian in this blog...i just love it too much :)

vi voglio bene.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

a week at home

hello friends! i apologize for my lateness in posting...i know mom has been eager for me to post pictures, so i guess you all are ready too. well i have been home a week and it honestly feels like a lot longer. it is really weird to transition to another way of life so abruptly. i will admit though, it is nice to be writing this blog from my own laptop and not from the stinky internet cafe. so i know you are all excited to see pictures, so here goes...i'll just start from the beginning and go from there!

this is the santa maria novella...we lived only a few meters down the road from this piazza and spent a lot of our time hanging out here...we did praise and worship on the steps of this church every sunday night.
this is a close up of the front of the duomo (the famous cathedral in florence)...it is so big that i never could get the whole thing in a picture!
this is the ponte vecchio...that means 'old bridge' in italian...it was built 1354. we learned that during ww2 when the nazis invaded germany, hitler gave a specific decree to keep this bridge intact. almost every night there were musicians performing on the ponte vecchio...during the day, it is filled with people shopping in the many jewelry shops that line the bridge.


this is the amazing view from the piazza di michelangelo...this is where i summer!

these are some of the girls from my team...thecla and ally...so beautiful! this is just a picture down by the river at night...i love florence at night!


this the view in fiesole, a little town right outside of florence (and one of my favorite places!)


some more girls on my team...jessica (in the middle) was my roommate!

we got to go to a soccer game too...italy vs. belgium....forze italia!
theresa and i in front of the duomo!
another amazing view of florence from fiesole...yep, i lived here!


there i am! i just love florence!

a view of florence from the top of the duomo....all 460 steps later!
this is eduardo and paola...you'll remember them from a previous post...please continue to pray for them!
my roommate, jessica, and i at the leaning tower of pisa!

ally and i at the piazza del campo in siena!

the duomo in siena!

another spectacular view of florence!

jonathan and i with our italian friends gisella and sara! i have talked a lot about gisella in previous posts!

this is where we debriefed...cinque terre!!


some of the girls decided to hike from one town in cinque terre to the next! this is my roommate, jessica, and i mid-hike!


the city we hiked to...vernazza!

adam and i with our favorite italian...cosimo!!! ive also talked about him a lot in previous posts.



this is the group that went to novoli every day! (half of our team)

these were our team leaders...toby and jessica vaughn!


and this is stephanie and i on the plane ride home...we are obviously sad to be leaving!

well there you go! those are just some of the pictures i took this summer...i ended up taking over 1000! i wasn't about to put all of those up, but if you want to see more, i put them all up on facebook! thank you all again for being so supportive of my trip this summer, and for praying the whole time. you cannot even imagine how crucial those prayers were. please continue to pray for my italian friends and the italian people in general. pray for their salvation! and don't stop!!

grazie mille i miei amici! ti voglio bene!