Thursday, July 1, 2010
filling in the cracks
accountability. what is accountability, you ask? well lucky for you, i just so happen to be equipped with this amazing technology called the internet. the internet says that accountability is the state of being accountable, liable, or answerable. i like this. or at least i think i like this. what does it really mean to be answerable. this must be connected in the most basic way to an action...what can you be answerable for, if not something that you've done? and if you are to be answerable for something you've done, must you not be answerable to someone else? this seems to me to be the very heart of accountability: that you must tell someone what you've done. simple enough, yet so very difficult to implement.
as a follower of Jesus Christ, we are called to live a life in which the deepest parts of ourselves are exposed to the light. terrifying as it seems, it is in this vulnerable state that we allow Jesus to show us his redemption and his desire to fill in all of our cracks...even those we refuse to admit exist. we've been talking a lot recently about what accountability really looks like in the context of our lives. it can't just be a theory, or something that we consistently talk about and hash out in every way imaginable, but never actually do! so needless to say, i've experienced some "doing" lately, and let me just say, wow. how sweet it is. to be able to share all of the (for lack of a better word) crap in my life with such a good friend and have her encourage me and pray for me...it's just amazing. i feel so blessed to have a relationship in which i feel so safe. who would have thought that after experiencing some intense shame after a period of sin, i would want to tell someone. there are so many times when i want to run as fast as my awkwardly long legs will carry me away from anything that might expose my less-than-perfect parts. i guess that just speaks to how, in his amazing grace, Jesus can change my heart. he comes in when i least expect it, and overhauls my tiny mind's ability to comprehend that maybe, just maybe, what he has for me is best. i heard someone say once, that it is a cosmic impossibility for God to be any less good to me than he is right now. why is it so hard to cling to this? to really believe? Lord, help my unbelief! i'm so amazed that he continues to work in me even when i don't believe. that's a good thing too, because if it weren't true, i'm not sure he'd ever work in me!
so i guess that's it. accountability is a sweet thing. sin confession sucks, but it's so vital. it's exposing and vulnerable. it's icky. but redemption is good. i pray that you try it. i pray that you can find someone that will reciprocate. Lord, haste the day when this isn't necessary...but help us seek your way to live while it is.
buono notte i miei amici. baci!
Friday, March 12, 2010
grace
il suo amore resiste a per sempre.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
a homecoming of sorts
a blog post can really be about anything...random thoughts, life narration, or whatever you like. this one, i suppose, needs to be about what i've recently discovered. i came home today from a week long trip to chicago. i had never been before this trip, and was very excited to see the city. i went for a conference, but did almost every touristy thing there is to do. as is customary for any vacation, i ate and drank basically the entire time. at this point, i can't fathom ever having another ounce of alcohol. what's funny, is that there was never a point of sheer drunkenness...we just seemed to always be drinking. it's like the city ran out of water or something, so anytime we needed something to drink, it had vodka in it. that makes me sound awful...if only my prude 18 year old self could see me now...how ashamed and judgmental she'd be!
we definitely lived it up in chi-town. it was a grand time and i could not imagine a more fun week. i realized something while i was there though, that i feel is worth sharing. it's quite monumental. it was friday night and i was sitting in a local movie theatre, wearing my 3D glasses, and watching alice in wonderland, that i realized i was ready to come home. to be perfectly honest, i have never wanted to come home from a vacation. i've always been the girl with a love for traveling (still am), and a need to be on the go. i have never really been able to sit still for too long. i feel alive when i get to experience new things, new people, and new places. that all sounds relatively wonderful, but it came with a downside to be sure. that is, i've never felt content to just be at home. i guess i've always lived my life waiting for the next best thing...always looking forward to experiencing something else, something new. i would get super anxious if i was ever in the same place for too long. i guess i'm still quite like that, but i've realized that i truly enjoy where i am now. i absolutely love my life. i'm so thankful for the people in it and the season i am in. once i thought about home on friday, i really couldn't get here fast enough. i love my city and believe so strongly that my God is doing a great work here in austin. i'm so thankful that despite my unwillingness and rebellion, that my Lord chooses to continually pursue me and beckon my heart back to His. He has shown His love for me in his constant pursuit and unconditional forgiveness and redemption. i seem to be so good and failing to live my life in a way that pleases Him, yet He loves me just the same and rejoices when i return to Him. as undeserving as my flesh is, my heart and soul have been redeemed by the only One worthy to redeem...and how eternally blessed i am. i guess that's a pretty great realization to have. it's weird though...as much as i have felt like i've known those truths forever, i'm reminded with such a newness that i can't help but share. i pray that you would all experience this newness of life that is so freely offered by Christ. it's unexplainable.
sono contenta.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
blog adultery
i call this one thanksgiving savens style.
thanksgiving with the savens this year was tradition at its finest. our thanksgiving routine has changed a bit in the last few years due to house sizes and sibling arguments, but this year was great. the final count this year was 30…we must be crazy i guess. all 30 of us were packed in my grandparents’ house…and when i say packed, i really mean it. some of you have been to my grandparents house, and it is not that big…and definitely not 30 people big. but like i said, it was great. we had a few family members drive in from st. louis, which was great because it had been about eight years since we had seen them. everyone arrived around 4 or so, at which time the champagne was popped and the appetizers were rolled out. this year we had chips and salsa (it is texas after all), a ginormous cheese ball with an assortment of crackers, and deviled eggs (a traditional dish for us that i have yet to partake from . everyone hangs out for a few hours, chatting and watching football, eating appetizers, and drinking…a lot. that’s one thing that the savens do quite well. as everyone is catching up, making jokes, teasing everyone (especially leah and i…the only aggies of the family), and having a good time, my grandma and my aunt are in the kitchen putting the last minute finishing touches on all the food. we have a lot of food. i mean, it’s a bit ridiculous. this year we had 2 fifteen pound turkeys and a turduckin (this was a first for us). we had a honey ham, 3 crockpots full of mashed potatoes, mashed sweet potatoes covered in pecans, broccoli and cauliflower casserole, homemade gravy (my personal favorite), collared greens, broccoli and cauliflower “sunny” salad (bryan’s favorite), and a couple more casseroles that i was too full to eat. and of course, the dessert, we had our famous pumpkin gooey butter cake, two pumpkin pies, and two cheese pies. needless to say, we had far too much food. before we all sat down to eat, all 30 of us gathered in the living room and stood in a circle holding hands. we do this circle prayer every time we get together, especially at thanksgiving. we go around the circle, starting with my grandma and say a prayer or what we are thankful for. this time is typically filled with jokes and tears, sincerity and silliness, and it’s wonderful. we end with my grandpa, who blesses the food…then it’s time to eat! we started eating around 7, which of course, was kickoff for the a&m-texas game, so some people sat at the tables we had set up, but we all migrated to the living room soon enough. the rest of the night consisted mostly of watching football and rubbing every a&m touchdown in everyone’s faces. we had a lovely time. thanksgiving with the savens is always an event. this year was one of the first times in about ten years that we had little ones running around again. bryan used to be the youngest, but we had new little ones this year, and i couldn’t have been happier. there is definitely something different about the atmosphere when babies are there i guess that is really it for the savens thanksgiving. it was a great time and now we just have to wait for christmas eve…believe it or not, we do it up bigger and better then! i hope everyone had a lovely time with family and i wish you all a happy thanksgiving!
so obviously that was a bit late, but i wanted to share it with you anyway. i hope you are all doing positively fabulous. and now i need to get back to the last bits of my school work for the semester. aww...procrastination.
buona notte...e ora, devo studiare!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
looking back a bit
Goal #1: $200 by February 19, 2008
Achieved February 7, 2008!
Goal #2: $1000 by March 23, 2008
(Total $1200)
Achieved March 22, 2008!
Goal #3: $1000 by April 11, 2008
(Total $2200)
Achieved March 31, 2008!
Goal #4: $1000 by May 1, 2008
(Total $3200)
Achieved April 11, 2008!
Goal #5: $2970 by May 18, 2008
(Total $617o)
Achieved May 17, 2008
isn't that amazing? it's just so great to see how perfectly God provided for me in a situation that required so much provision! sorry for a short post, but i'm sleepy! i have another big week ahead of me. prayer is much appreciated!
buona notte!
Saturday, November 14, 2009
a different place
i guess the most overwhelming part of my life right now would have to be school. i am currently in my second year of graduate school, studying school psychology. right now i have three classes, i work at a middle school three days a week for practicum, and i work in the autism clinic that we have at school as part of my graduate assistant duties. and that's just the school part. it has definitely been challenging trying to juggle everything on my plate...especially when the plate is completely filled up by school...where does the rest of my life fit in? this has been something i have really struggled with in the last couple of months. don't get me wrong, i absolutely love my program and everything i get to do with it. i feel so honored that i get to make a real difference in the lives of children with disabilities. it makes me feel alive when i work with those kids. if i had my choice, i would probably be with kids in some capacity 24/7...who needs adult interaction anyway? well i guess that might be important.
as far as adult interaction goes, i'm happy to share that i have finally found a church home and an amazing community within it. i am a proud partner at the austin stone. i began attending this church in may of this year and joined as a partner at the end of the summer. i cannot tell you how blessed i feel to be a part of this body of believers. there are some really great things happening in the church right now and i'm so excited to be a part of it. i am blessed to get to hear the teachings of some wise and gifted men of God every week, and always feel so challenged and loved when i leave service. i've also been so blessed to be able to take a theology class through the stone. this semester we studied the truth of scripture, attributes of God, the trinity, the person of Jesus Christ and the work of Jesus Christ...we studied these in a way i never have before, and my eyes have been opened to just how much i don't know about my God. this is comforting in a way because i know he is so much bigger than i could ever imagine. i could (and will) search my entire life to know more about him...his love, his grace, his power, his wisdom, his perfection, his nature, his will, his provision...and i will never cease to learn something new about him. i'm so thankful that i serve the one true God...the God of creation, of the universe...the Savior of my heart and lover of my soul. how truly blessed i am! i've been able to see glimpses of the attributes that God has allowed his people to share with him through my new community group at the stone. i am involved in a group of about 15 or so single coeds that desire to live in community and on mission for God. i have just been amazed at how beautifully God orchestrated the group. i have been looking for this kind of genuine community for quite some time and think i have finally found it. praise God. i will keep you posted about our weekly gatherings, as i'm sure there will be much to share. i'll say this though, every week renews me. thank goodness.
i guess this post is long enough already, so i'll cut it off now. look for more posts, as i'm hoping to be pretty regular about this. now i'm off to clean my apartment and write some reports! a lovely saturday indeed. talk to you all soon.
ciao amici...yes, i will be continuing the use of my italian in this blog...i just love it too much :)
vi voglio bene.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
a week at home
this is the amazing view from the piazza di michelangelo...this is where i summer!
this the view in fiesole, a little town right outside of florence (and one of my favorite places!)
there i am! i just love florence!
another spectacular view of florence!
jonathan and i with our italian friends gisella and sara! i have talked a lot about gisella in previous posts!
this is where we debriefed...cinque terre!!
the city we hiked to...vernazza!
this is the group that went to novoli every day! (half of our team)
these were our team leaders...toby and jessica vaughn!
and this is stephanie and i on the plane ride home...we are obviously sad to be leaving!
well there you go! those are just some of the pictures i took this summer...i ended up taking over 1000! i wasn't about to put all of those up, but if you want to see more, i put them all up on facebook! thank you all again for being so supportive of my trip this summer, and for praying the whole time. you cannot even imagine how crucial those prayers were. please continue to pray for my italian friends and the italian people in general. pray for their salvation! and don't stop!!
grazie mille i miei amici! ti voglio bene!